it feels like wht i've said to those around me about me is gg to happen on me. idk. at tht moment, i just felt like it. i know i'm not supposed to say this, especially to myself. but sometimes, everything that's happening makes me think it is it. (ignore if you don't understand) then when i'm back home today, i googled it via the internet. everything was quite true, indeed, some of it are happening at this moment. but definitely, i can't deduce it myself. if it isn't scientifically proven, then i can't say i'm right. it's just my assumption. but.. the chances are rlly high. i'm serious and this is no joke. it didn't came as a shock or too sudden for me. i've already given it a thought ages ago. cos' prev. doc. mentioned about it to me before. hence, the probabilities is stated clearly: high chance. it's really tiring when your life really has to come to this stage. but for me, not yet. i'll do whatever it takes now to make myself recover thoroughly first, so i'd do well in my following papers. and none of these, will affect ^^ and i'll go to n.c. end of this yr to check on b (: (yes, finally i'm willing to go and i'm saying it out)

however i think something is reallyreally wrong with me health ): sigh. the fever comes and goes. the flu come and goes. the cough comes and goes. the gastric comes and goes. the migraine comes and goes. tsktsk.

today's a bad day already. the flu came in the morning, followed by mild migraine and finally severely gastric. see, from bad to worst. worst of all, despite feeling v. unwell, i have to give a response of me feeling allright. idk wht is wrong with me manxz. if it continues this way, i dont understand why not just get rid of the life. it's v. irritating. haiyooooo.